Wednesday, March 23

Right Now.

Turmoils, Tensions, Deadlines, Submissions.

These monsters are watching me from under my bed. They've disturbed my sleep, and disturbed my routine. I'm prancing around the evil puppetry of these monsters.

Everything will be back to normal after 18th April. Till then, I shall follow. After that, I shall lead.

Summer, '11. I am waiting :)

Tuesday, March 1

In A Moment

Everything is momentary.

A couple of years ago, I learnt that life can take any ugly, unexpected turn., at any time. And all we can do is sit helplessly hoping for nothing but the best. Maybe mope, maybe cry, in the hope that everything will come back to us. It doesn't and it never will. But through the last few months, I have been strongly believing that life is extremely precious and erratic. And so is death.

We say 'forever'. We never realize, that nothing can last till eternity. It simply cannot. While the mind knows this, the heart succumbs to emotions. We want each person we love, to be around all the time. We want to hug them tight, we want to hold them close, tell them we love them. But we never do. We take their presence for granted. In a moment, life is lost. Just like that.

I never want to regret not having told someone what they mean to me. Each moment I get to spend with them, is like an opportunity. An opportunity to express my gratitude to them, for simply just being a part of my life.

I'd love to live every single moment of my life with a smile on my face and with love for all those I care for. Because, the happiness and the love will reach all those who I've reached out to. I know that when I start living like this, I will be genuinely content.


Everything is momentary. And every moment counts.

Friday, January 21

Connections And Reunions

All my life, I have had the experience of living in different cities, going to school in different cities, and making new friends. As time passed, either I relocated, or some friends did. We wrote letters, and we missed each other for a while and then, moved on with life.

As I grew older, I realized that there were so many memories, and so many people left behind. Some connections still existing, but passively. Some connections dissolved by the trick of time. I wanted all those memories to come back to me, and I wanted all those people to be a part of my life again. Those people with whom I probably went to elementary school with, played duck-duck-goose with, fought over food with, watched Scooby Doo every night at 8 pm with, talked about Enid Blyton's and Roald Dahl's books, played house with, cheated in class dictations with, twittered about like pixies with, laughed at the lamest of jokes with, played on the monkey bars and the slides with... Oh! The list just seems to go on.

I realized that no matter how naive I was, those days were still beautiful. They were beautiful, because we were all still unaware of what life would be like ahead. And that innocence was the best part of the friendship I shared with them.

Thanks to the advancing technology and the boon (or distraction) of social networking sites like Facebook, I set out to search for those friends, who at that time meant a lot to me. Because, they brought a smile to my face, they shared their lunches, they enjoyed the same cartoons, and read the same books. And of course, the gossips of how someone was being a bully, or how someone had been mean and hurtful.

And, I am thankful to my good memory, that I remembered the names and the last-names of all those I was hoping to reconnect with. And, I did get in touch with every single person who was an important person in my life, in the various cities I've lied in.

In December 2009, I met with four of my old classmates,after almost eight years, who I'd studied with when I was six till I was eight. Last December, I reunited with an old neighbor of mine. We lived opposite each other for just about a year, and knew each other for just exactly that long. When we met, we met after twelve years.
During both these reunions, I wondered how they looked (Facebook images are not always the best), how tall they'd grown, how different they were, and whether, I'd still be as happy to meet them now, as I was then. I had all sorts of apprehensions in my head, but when I met them all, all those worries ran away.

It was wonderful. I didn't want to leave them. Sure, they had changed. Well, of course, I did too. We were all grown up, and mature. But the most commendable thing was that even after all these years, we greeted each other with so much excitement and zest. We were really looking forward to seeing each other, and we were genuinely elated to. I could feel it in the embraces we exchanged, and in the smiles, that never left our faces.

Sure, for me, the connections had been revived, and the bonds had been reunited.
We still keep in touch, and we hope that the next meeting doesn't happen after eight or twelve years. And I can confidently say, that whenever that next meeting may be it will be as delightful, if not more.

Friday, January 14

The Chase.

I had decided that I was exhausted.

With all that mental running around. I sure was exhausted.
That lingering feeling. It's running after me. It's incessantly pestering me. Not letting me BE.
Monsters of the past, dressed in dark, long, flowing robes, just like the Conspirators from Julius Caesar, are capering soundly around me.
It's sinister. It's eerie. The more I'd like to runaway, the closer I get. The more involved I get. The more I reminisce it, the further I get from there.I didn't know why that happened. It was something that was beyond my understanding. Sure, I didn't expect all of them to be sugar gilded experiences. But I believed, my life could be the way I had always liked for it to be.

I believed, and I chased after my future, Only to be pulled back by the chariots of the past. They had the reins. And I had to follow. I knew, this couldn't go on for long. A little child-like rebel still resides in me, constantly trying to breakaway. And it still believes. Not in Santa, and not in Tooth Fairies, but in chasing the dreams, and earning them.

I know for a fact, that I will constantly breakaway from the strongholds of the past, and continue to chase what I want. And, I do know, that the past, will no matter how glorious or how unpleasant it might be, always be a part of my life, and will at various stages catch up with me.

But, until then, I'll be in the vicious chasing game. I will always be on the chase of the future. On the chase of my dreams.