In A Moment

Everything is momentary.

A couple of years ago, I learnt that life can take any ugly, unexpected turn., at any time. And all we can do is sit helplessly hoping for nothing but the best. Maybe mope, maybe cry, in the hope that everything will come back to us. It doesn't and it never will. But through the last few months, I have been strongly believing that life is extremely precious and erratic. And so is death.

We say 'forever'. We never realize, that nothing can last till eternity. It simply cannot. While the mind knows this, the heart succumbs to emotions. We want each person we love, to be around all the time. We want to hug them tight, we want to hold them close, tell them we love them. But we never do. We take their presence for granted. In a moment, life is lost. Just like that.

I never want to regret not having told someone what they mean to me. Each moment I get to spend with them, is like an opportunity. An opportunity to express my gratitude to them, for simply just being a part of my life.

I'd love to live every single moment of my life with a smile on my face and with love for all those I care for. Because, the happiness and the love will reach all those who I've reached out to. I know that when I start living like this, I will be genuinely content.

Everything is momentary. And every moment counts.

Friends who Move Away

No more hearts,

No more memories

I don't fit into any pictures no more.

Of course,

You are not to blame,

It was ME who moved away.

Memories past,

Are held deep within

Newer ones

are Fewer made

Of course,

You are not to blame,

It was ME who moved away.

Phone calls, messages

Facebook, Skype

I guess all of us

Are through with that hype.

Of course,

You are not to blame,

It was ME who moved away.

Numerous trials

Hours, days and

Months of waiting,

Went all in vain...

Of course,

You are not to blame,

It was ME who moved away.

Tale Of Two Cities

Written on the 1st of August 2010, For 29th July 2010

I had been waiting for the day, when I would finish with my assessment, and fly back home, to my parents, my brother, my friends. I just wanted an end to all the sleepless nights, the tireless working hours, and the ton of work that I had. I really was waiting to bid goodbye to it all, and just be. Without anything to do, without any routine to follow, without any goals to be met.

And there I was all packed up, and ready to go.

I was delighted, overwhelmed with tears when I flung my arms around my mother. It felt so soothing, so comforting. I didn't want to move from there. I was so excited to be back to India, to be back to the place I call home. Time passed, day after day, and I was getting used to Mom's cooking, Mom's constant nagging to clean my room, sleeping in her lap; fighting with my Dad for fun, spending quality time with him, renting out movies; Brother's tantrums and then cajoling him, teaching him science and taking full advantage of chiding him; the pampering of the maids, always there at your beck and call for anything and everything; the driver to take me around wherever I needed/wanted to go; and my friends who begged I attended every party, who organized lunches for me, and all their warm hugs and letters.

I was actually doing nothing; just flicking the channels of the Television (which, I considered to be a great privilege). I couldn't motivate myself to paint, or draw, or exercise, or even read. Just somewhere between all the outings, and the rainy afternoons, and the lazy days with family, the holiday was ending.

In all this, I realized one thing. I only really understood what it meant to have all of this after I went away to college. No, I didn't take any of this for granted, but my respect and value of this just doubled and tripled. In all the fun I was having, I hadn't noticed how time had run it's race. It was time for me to go back.

For nearly three months, I was waking up at almost noon, where as, when I am at college, that's the time I sleep after having finished all my assignments. For nearly three months, I had been fed and made fat, with all food cooked with sugar, spice, love and everything nice. I gorged on my Mom's desserts. When at college, all I get is very limited vegetarian options, self-cooked food made on trial-and-error basis. For three months, my friends and I had been conversing on local rates, meeting almost everyday. But when I'm away, we resort to Facebook and MSN for conversations, and Skype, to have a glimpse of each other. For nearly three months, I was used to people around me. I was used to being dependent on them. But at College, I am always independent, knowing and setting my limits, willing to take on any thing that comes my way. I was unhappy to think about leaving India. I thought that the summer ended too soon. I thought that the dark, vicious clouds of the rain arrived too soon.

Yet, I was happy. Somewhere deep down there, I couldn't fool myself. I couldn't fool myself about the way I felt. I knew, I was looking forward to the new year, and the new friends I'd get to make, and all the explorations and experiences lined up for me. And at the same time, I couldn't smile in the pictures we took on my last day, and I couldn't watch my family bid me a safe journey back with all their best wishes. I ignored them calling out to me at the airport, and walked into its Air Conditioned confines with my trolley full of luggage.

And there I was all packed up, and ready to go.

For me, every four months shall see the change. Change in lifestyles, change in routine, change in activities. I shall always be stuck in the Tale Of Two Cities. I shall always be bound by the love of and for the two cities.

Image Courtesy: Drishti Kulshreshtha, Radhika Gupta